Reflecting on Thailand Part 2

….to continue the saga of Thailand…

After a few days (of being in Ayuthaya), we got on a bus and headed back to Bangkok where we got on another bus for the 5-hour ride down to Trat. We stayed at a hotel that was a bit outside the city and proved difficult to find food. But the next morning we headed to the pier. We boarded a speedboat and sat down for the hour-long ride. They didn’t have any lifejackets that were kid size so a strapped a large one on him and said a prayer. Since he couldn’t move and there was nothing to see he eventually fell asleep….what an amazing little traveler!

Does it fit?

We arrived on the island and got settled in a really nice villa. The downstairs had a bathroom, bedroom, living room and kitchen. Upstairs was a deck and the master bedroom and bathroom. That night Megan slept downstairs and Jaden slept with us in our room. I woke to the dogs barking outside our house. It seemed like an alarm bark but since it was our first night I didn’t know if it was different from normal. I then heard a bang downstairs and after a few minutes, I had Josh go down to take a look. He didn’t notice anything unusual and so we all slept well the rest of the night.

Our house and guard dog

The following morning we headed to the beach and spent the time playing in the water and sun. When we returned to the house to put Jaden down we realized that Jaden’s iPad, Josh’s camera and mini iPad were missing. Realization hit as we put the pieces together – we had been robbed that night.

We are so thankful that Josh was too late, that he didn’t run into the burglars. We are grateful that they didn’t see my computer in its case on the floor next to the couch. We are so thankful that they didn’t open Megan’s door. And even while we were being robbed we peacefully slept. The Father was gracious.

Obviously the next night we all slept together upstairs, and we didn’t leave our computers anywhere. But how can you prevent a robbery such as this…you can’t. Other houses were also hit the night we were which probably explains why all the dogs were going crazy. The Father further comforted us by providing a dog that did not leave our house the entire time we were there. Even when Megan went on a run in the morning the dog went with her (she saw another dog approach on her run and “our” dog ran it off). Jaden loved that dog as he allowed Jaden to pet and feed him crackers on our porch.

And yet our loss wasn’t over… a couple days later I was feeling a lot of cramping. I had been bleeding a little the last few days and thought it was due to motorcycle riding and the terrible terrain that is Thailand. But this afternoon I knew something was wrong. I was alone in the house when the pain started but was thoroughly relieved when Josh and Megan and Jaden walked in just before the pain got worse. Megan took Jaden out to play and Josh was able to hold my hand.

We called our friend who is a doctor in our city back in U-town and was grateful for an outside opinion.

We lost our baby that day.

We grieved. I was reminded of the story of David and his first child with Bathsheba. He had prayed and fasted for that child to be healed. Yet after the child’s death he got up and ate. Throughout this pregnancy I had prayed for this child. When the bleeding started I prayed harder and tried not to worry. I pleaded with the Father to take care of me and the baby. After the miscarriage, when I prayed to the Father about this I felt like He said to me with all authority, “I have spoken”. With these words I could see all the blame, guilt, depression, worry, and darkness flee from my presence. I felt relief, I felt a sadness that was sad because I didn’t like what He said but a relief knowing He had spoken, it was done. I can trust Him to know that it was He who was in control, it was time for me to get up and wash my face.

Our next hurdle was getting the bleeding to stop. There was no medical care on the island. We continued to talk to our doctor friend to make sure we weren’t at emergency status and stayed on the island. By the next afternoon, we were advised to at least get to the mainland but we missed the last boat off the island. So we spent a casual evening on the beach and were on the first boat the next morning.

Of course, the wind was stronger the next morning so the waves were a bit choppy for an hour speedboat ride. The ride was rough in a lot of ways – physically it was jarring, emotionally it was crushing. At this point it felt like I was leaving my baby behind. I would have loved that little one so much. Jaden would have loved being his/her big brother. And yet, I was leaving him/her behind on that terrible island. It was hard and I felt the loss strongly.

I broke down on the pier once we reached the mainland, but I didn’t have long because we still had a five-hour van ride to Bangkok and drivers don’t like to wait. Josh called ahead to set up an appointment with the doctor at the international hospital. So my biggest fear was that I would need a DC. I still hadn’t stopped bleeding and I didn’t know if it was too much or too little. I know the Father helped me to not be overcome with fear but I was still afraid. The only times I had talked with women who have gone through it was in China and at hospitals that are less than stellar. Coming off an island that had spotty electricity, no hot water and off and on internet, my hopes weren’t high for the medical care and that scared the dickens out of me.

We missed our appointment due to traffic so we just headed to our apartment rental that thankfully was available a few days early. While we were out to eat we lost our key card and therefore had a terrible time getting back into the apartment (just another stressor).

The next morning Jaden and Megan planned to spend the time together while Josh and I headed to the hospital. I cannot tell you the relief that washed over me as we entered the Bumrungrad Hospital. It was the nicest hospital I have ever seen. The facility itself was beautiful and clean. It even had a McDonalds and a Starbucks inside! While I was either on the verge of tears or crying the entire time, everyone was really nice.

Valentine’s Day was Aunt Megan Day — Jaden loved all the special time with his aunt

Our doctor had thought we came in because we had had multiple miscarriages and were having a hard time getting pregnant (slight translation mishap). Once he realized that I had JUST had a miscarriage at 10 weeks he was full of compassion and really gentle. Thankfully, he didn’t see anything left or wrong and said we wouldn’t need any other procedures. He did want me to get some blood tests done as a precaution.

We returned to the apartment relieved and happy to see our son who had a great time with his aunt. We are so thankful she was able to be there with and for us. We didn’t have to worry about Jaden because we knew he was having so much fun with his aunt.

We then spent the rest of our time exploring Bangkok and just relaxing at the apartment pool. Just before Megan left we got a call that a friend of ours from XJ was coming into Bangkok to get some tests done at the international hospital. Due to a 48 hr flight delay, she ended up arriving just as Megan’s flight left. So Josh was able to pick her up after he dropped Megan off. She stayed with us while she went back and forth from the hospital to have tests done.

She and her family have been very close to us during our time in XJ. She has a son that is Jaden’s age and they are one of our closest friends.

Due to the results of her medical testing, it looks like they will not be able to live in U-town. They’ll move as soon as they can.

I feel like our loss is complete. I’m worn out and sad. In the last few months at least 5 families have left U-town. The ones that have stayed have been hit hard physically. Is this spiritual warfare? Is this a brink of something great? Are we being poured out so completely in order that the Father can fill this land with only Him? Will we see His glory magnified in this place that seems to be just chewing us up?

I have no answers to these questions and I am ok with that. Each day we continue to see the Father work both in our own lives and the lives of our friends. We have a peace about staying here and while there might be easier situations to live in, there are also harder ones and so I am thankful for His continual mercy and provision for me. I am thankful that He loves me and promises to take care of His people.