Putting Jaden in Preschool – The Journey

For some of you, the idea of putting your kid in school wasn’t even a decision. It was something that you just did. For a few, it was a decision between public or private and for others it was a decision to homeschool. For me, I never imagined that I would be at this decision-making crossroad with a son only 3 years old!

As most of you know, I received my certification to teach elementary levels for international schools (although my school never actually gave me the certificate which was weird but I digress). Needless to say, I’ve been trained in the methodologies to implant facts, figures and concepts into little ones’ brains in as colorful and interesting ways as possible. I’ve also got a few teaching years under my belt therefore I felt fully capable of traveling overseas with my son who wouldn’t fall too far behind because surely I could teach one student.

My teaching experience also entails teaching in Chinese schools. Therefore, I know the overarching philosophies and motivations that are the foundation of many teachers here and so I was grateful that Jaden could learn from me at home.

In America, a majority feels like there is enough for everyone. Everyone has a shot at being great, at getting into a good college, at finding a great job. “Equal opportunity” I think is what we call it. But in China, they think differently. Every position, every college spot and every high-ranking seat is fought for, because there are only so many spots. You have to take care of yourself because the overall feeling is that no one else will. And that ideology can trickle into the classroom.

In reality, it is a quest for power. We all want control and when you have power you have control and so the more control you have the more powerful you feel. Most of the time, as a teacher, I had no idea when classes started simply because we should be at the beck-n-call of those above us (we will start when they are ready). You don’t make appointments for anything but wait in lines or continue to drop by until they are ready to see you. It can be very frustrating coming. But we also have to remind ourselves that so-and-so might not be in the office today because their higher-up has asked them to be at their beck and call today.

All that to say, this quest for power can be extremely frustrating and in the classroom teachers can just about loose it when those above them are taking things out of their control and then all these little people in their class are taking control as well. So discipline is a bit more forceful. I saw just how much this philosophy of control/power was the case when I saw a line of kindergarteners standing by the door. The class monitor (a fellow kindergartener in the class) was looking at the line and yelling at the other students to stand straighter (he was trying to use his most angry, “this is serious” voice he could muster). And then he would swat at any kid who stepped out of line. As I said, it’s a philosophical foundation that trickles down.

I mention all this because when we decided to move here with our son, I told the Father that He would have to be extremely clear if He ever wanted me to put my son in school.

Well, He was….. <<deep breath>> so I am.

About a month ago now, school wasn’t even on my radar. Josh was traveling and Jaden and I were living life and visiting friends. Then I started noticing a trend in conversation…preschool. I kept having these hour-long conversations about the nearby schools. Now, usually I would simply get looks and questions about why Jaden isn’t in school (they start at 2 ½-3 yrs.) and I would simply say that I teach him. But these conversations were more in depth and specific about each of the schools (which was a stretch with my language level). And then out of the blue, Jaden said, “Mom, I want to go to school. I want to learn Chinese. I want to have friends.”. Now, if Josh was starting to go back to school I would have thought this circumstantial but he wasn’t even home yet. And so I started going to the Father about it. Because the one thing I cannot teach my son is a fluent level of Mandarin!

Walking to Preschool

I started testing Jaden on his language capabilities. We played for thirty minutes in only Mandarin. I’d ask him what he would say if he didn’t like something or wanted something or if I said something how would he follow those directions. All these little tests, confirmed that he could follow directions and get his opinion across (or stand up for himself) in Mandarin. Just months before, he would simply get frustrated about not understanding, but I began seeing a patience to try and to ask questions. I’ve also notice his confidence to talk with and play with the other kids. While he had all kinds of separation anxiety before he is slowing growing more confident. And so I started realizing that he probably would be capable of going to school.

The playground was the selling point for Jaden

And then I felt that familiar (yet uncomfortable) nudge to trust… to trust the Father and His plan for my son. I can’t hold my son so tightly that I begin to disobey. And so I am trusting that the Father will protect my son as he goes to school and the power plays are practiced before (and probably on) him. I am trusting that as I continue to lift my son up before the Father that He will protect Jaden’s little heart.. that words of patience, forgiveness, self-lessness and gentleness will be heard louder at home than what he hears at school.

I am not saying this as a “you must not trust enough, if your kid doesn’t go to school”. This is just my own journey and my desire to follow in obedience in what I feel He is leading with Jaden. If we are ever blessed with another child, his/her path might be homeschool and I’ll be grateful and worried just the same since homeschooling brings different challenges and areas of trust.

One aspect that Jaden’s preschool allows, is that I will get a few hours to truly devote to studying the language. These hours won’t be jammed into nap-time or weary-eyed at night after he goes to bed, but 3 solid hours in the morning! I am really hopeful that I’ll be able to make some headway on the language here.

Jaden’s Preschool

After going to various schools around our home we chose one that isn’t too far away. The class has about 25 and there is even a playground that isn’t too dilapidated. Before we are able to have him start, he has to get a health screen. Usually, each preschool has a clinic that it is associated with and you are required to go there. As teachers Josh and I have had to do this before and the experience is not 5 star.

Perhaps I will write about that later, but needless to say we are incredibly thankful for the International Clinic.  It was just like walking into an American doctor’s office.

Health Check-up and Blood Draw at the International Clinic

I had done some preparation with Jaden, having watched Daniel Tiger’s episode of going to the doctor and talking about what to expect. Jaden did a great job at not squirming will the doctor took Jaden’s blood and I was happy to have Josh be able to hold him in his lap and I could hold Jaden’s hand and talk him through it.  We are so proud of our little trooper.

He’s so grown up!

He got his first “honghao” (a red flag sticker for being good)

Jaden has been through one week of school.  We’ve only had one breakdown at the gate and I am so grateful.  Tomorrow will be his first class party and then we will have a two week break for the holiday.  I am so thankful for the Father’s provision to give my son peace about going and teachers that are sweet.  If ever you think about it when you go through your school day with your little ones, please lift up Jaden as he ventures into a completely Mandarin-speaking environment.

Not quite into the morning dances yet.

First art project (they painted it later)

Thank you so much for lifting us up during this transition.  We are incredibly grateful to know that we are not going through this life alone.